10. “I don’t pay child support, because I don’t want her to use my money so she can partying!” From what I understand, this is the number one excuse to why deadbeats never pay their child support. Ironically, at least in our case, the one who is out partying, and by partying I mean getting stoned, is Bio-Dad.
9. “I signed off on supervised visits so I didn’t have to deal with her…” I understand that dealing with an ex is difficult and often ugly, but who would willingly sign off on supervised visits with your child?!?
8. “Which team does he play for again?” – This quote dates a couple of games into the 2008 Pee-Wee football season. Michael’s Mom and I had just started to date, and we were enjoying a gorgeous sunny day watching the little guy play. The game was at a local high school, which had a large set of concrete bleachers. We sat mostly by ourselves, nearly to the very top, which allowed us to noxiously watch Johnnie stumble his way up the steps. “Which team does Michael play for again?” Seriously, dude?!?
7. “My Mom pays it for me.” In March 2009, Johnnie took Michael’s mother to court, citing attempted kidnapping when Michael’s mother moved to Northern Virginia for school. When the Judge saw that Michael’s Mom was the custodial parent, he asked if Johnnie had been keeping up with his child support payments. “That’s nice of your mother to pay your support payments, sir…but the question was, have you been keeping up with YOUR court appointed obligations?” Once again, Johnnie repeats himself and the court erupts in laughter.
6. “Just be a good boy and go get my son something else then your only advancing my seed, thanks and try to take him hunting too” This was a two-day email chain and in retrospect was a complete waste of my time…disgusting that Johnnie refers to his child as “seed,” but I guess the silver-lining in this statement is the right usage of “too”…
6a. “Please just stay out of it and play with your left overs” Johnnie followed the previous statement with this gem.
6b. “O yeah do not ever write me again please you need help for whatever complex you have so go write a shrink and do no and I mean Do Not Ever Write Me Again” As English teachers faint across the US from a piss-poor grammar overdose!
6c. “Whos kids bike is that what is that about a 650” This email came less than 30 seconds from the previous comment. Johnnie is obviously taking this chat one thought at a time.
5. “Only trust the Germans and the French” I should mention that Johnnie is a history buff, especially Civil War topics, so when Michael came home preaching this, after one of his monthly weekend visits to Tennessee, I couldn’t help but think about the irony.
4. “I had to smack her around because she kissed my grandmother!” After almost 4 years of denying he was ever physically abusive to Michael’s mother, Johnnie let this quote rip. Nice job, tough guy…
3. “In Tennessee, supervised visits means that my grandparents could pick him up for visits or my mother could…” Apparently, Tennessee is the only state in the country with a law like this, because my interpretation of supervised visits meant that your dumbass couldn’t be trusted to be alone with the kid.
2. “I’m glad you’re moving out of Virginia…get my son away from all the ‘Blacks’ and ‘Muslims!’” This quote is wrong on so many levels. I wish I didn’t have to share this one at all! Unfortunately, it is one of the most ridiculous things I’ve heard Johnnie say. Combined with his German comments…well, I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.
1. “I would think that since you are actually a biological father now, you might understand where I am coming from.” I am a biological father now, but I have no clue where Johnnie is coming from on this because I do not agree with his approach to being a father.
And a special bonus:
“Why would you want to take him (Michael) away from his family?”
No, Johnnie. I don’t want to take Michael away from his family. I want to take him away from YOU!
