This entry was difficult to make light of. As I wrote this, I came to the realization that this man isn’t personally funny. He’s just an idiot. I don’t know if he can help it, he really just has no clue what appropriate behavior is. Still, the information is important because if I don’t say it now, entries are not going to make much sense and ultimately fail at my humble attempt at being funny. And if we can’t laugh about it…well, then it just seems mean.
Mr. “Johnnie BBQ”, from small-town eastern-Tennessee, or as he boldly claims, “the great land of Davey Crockett!” Sorry, I can’t help myself sometimes, the guy is an idiot! And yes, that is a direct quote from an email.
Anyway!
Being from a small town myself, I noticed that there seems to be an accepted way of life that is repeated for generations. For instance, where I grew up, the mentality for many of the girls I knew was that they needed to be married immediately after high school and start a family. Like other small towns, Johnnie's probably had the same belief but his family, in particular, liked to add a little twist!
Johnnie’s family has a history of having children at really young ages and leaving the responsibility to their parents to raise the child. So after Michael was born, Johnnie continued to roam the streets, knowing his mother was around to make sure that his little family was provided for. To be honest, I think this is what Johnnie has come to expect. From what I understand, he got everything he wanted growing up and grew accustomed to pitching fits when things didn’t go his way.
His family was, and still is, like a horrible dog owner. When a Chihuahua bites someone’s finger, the worst thing anyone could do is think it’s cute, pet the dog, and talk to it in a baby-voice. All it does is re-enforces the bad behavior and the dog will continue to bite. Johnnie’ parents are no different, rather than nipping this shit in the ass when he was a kid. They went into denial and re-enforced the behavior with cars, clothes, and cover-ups…especially during hissy-fits that became violent, which was interestingly only ever directed towards women.
Johnnie's top priority is what everyone around him thinks about him. He really doesn’t care that he current owes $15,000 in back child support. What is important to him, is that his friends and family believe he is a wonderful parent because he continues to call Michael, although he hides that he only does it periodically…and only when it’s convenient.
In essence, I guess the man is kind of funny. Sometimes it’s because of idiot statements or his depictions of the alternative universe he lives in. But really, I just think it’s funny to watch and listen to a 35-year old man act like a 12-year old boy who had their Xbox taken away.
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